Addiction Counselling London
Central London, Camden, Kings Cross, London NW1
Glen Gibson - Dip. Counselling, MA Psychotherapy, Dip. Psychotherapy
UKCP & mBACP Accredited Male Addiction Counsellor & Psychotherapist

Sex Addiction - Pornography Problem, Porn Addiction, Online Sex, Internet Sex & Cybersex Addiction, Masturbation Addiction

Counselling For Sex Addiction, Online Porn Addiction, Sexual Compulsion & Masturbation Addiction

Cyber Sex - From Curiosity To A Problem Each of us define what is sexually acceptable or problematic. Some couples, who are geographically separated, or people who want to remain anonymous, may turn to cybersex. This can allow them to sexually explore and fantasise in ways they may not be able to do otherwise. We may have talked to people not really knowing who they are, exchanged pictures, arranged to meet up or enjoy, value the limerent emotional connection we get. Cybersex can provide an opportunity to sexually experiment, explore parts of our sexuality we haven't acknowledged or have sexual role plays. Cybersex can satisfy sexual desires, without the risk of pregnancy, STDs. Going online for sex (maybe through online chat, social networking or a sex web cam) can take up less resources and effort to connect, than with a person in a real life meaningful relationship. Wanting our sexual freedom, what can start off as curiosity about online sexual activities, web sex, cybersex, live sex, video chat rooms, online webcam rooms (sex web cam rooms), cam to cam, cyber affairs, cyber-relationships or digisex, can for some end up being overused, problematic or obsessive, compulsive, like an addiction with all kinds of sexual services, hook up sites, escorts easily available, linked to our phones, apps, etc. On these sites there is little or no education, information about the reality of sex. We can make everything about sex. Our online sex addiction may creep up on us. Some people also use internet dating online specifically for sex, believing that we don't deserve love, and this may have become problematic. Empty inside, maybe wanting to fill us up externally, be hungry, greedy for sex, we may have internally abandoned ourselves, and our challenge may be to fill and love ourselves. Living a sort of parallel life, we may be in a relationship or marriage and whether or not we believe our partner knows about what we are doing, the effects are likely to be picked up by our partner. Sex addiction counselling and sex addiction therapy can offer support with any of these concerns. (See also Seeing Someone Else, Affairs, Infidelity, Cheating In Our Relationship)

Counselling For Sex Addiction, Sex Compulsion - Differences Between Online Sex & Face-To-Face Intimate Encounters The internet can help us save time, open up many possibilities and give us the illusion of sexual confidence, especially if we separate our sex with relationships. The internet for some people is the starting point to developing relationships. Yet often when we follow through by meeting our online contacts in the flesh, it doesn't work out because the subtle courtship steps were filtered or omitted. This affects the depth, quality, realness and soulfulness of the relationship. How a person looks, smells, subtle body movements, their tone of voice and other nuances, senses get missed, unless we meet up. The images we see don't relate to a fully rounded human being and sexual realities bear little resemblance. If we are having anonymous cybersex, we may not have verifiable knowledge of the other person, including their gender, age, etc. Even if the person is "live on screen", roles can be played, and subtle communication can be misunderstood as can sense of humour and type of personality. We may have become overly focused on sex, genitals, unrealistic views of body shapes, without warmth, intimacy. The internet cuts corners and condenses this courtship, yet it takes a long time to build healthy, romantic relationship, which requires companionship, sincere and real physical, skin-to-skin contact (see also Healthy, Positive Sex Life). When online, nothing can be off limits yet in the reality of our real encounters we may become disappointed with any limitations and our unmet expectations. By now we may be seeking sex addiction help. (See also Pornography Addiction London - Incomplete or Pseudo World)

Using Sex Addictively, Sex Addiction, Sexual Compulsion, Sexual Addiction Counselling London Using sex addictively (often viewed as an impulse control disorder) we may have developed persistent patterns, difficulties in controlling our intense, repetitive sexual urges and impulses, causing distress in our personal, family, social and work lives. And this way of using sex can be viewed by some as a compulsion rather than addiction. (Compulsive sexual behaviour disorder - CSBD, where we have a consistent failure to control our intense sexual urges, impulses, over a period of time, causing distress, has been recognised by the World Health Organisation - WHO.) Despite the negative consequences to ourself and others we may have persistent or uncontrolled escalating patterns of sexual behaviour, using sex like a sport to give us an dopamine release, to fill the emptiness, gaps in our life, maybe mistaking sex for loving feelings. (This can be both intoxicating, yet also toxic.) We may believe this is the only way of being in touch with our self, or to feel something as we distance ourself from romantic connection, intimacy as part of our sexual addiction. Having conflicting messages in our head, eating into our life, when fantasy of sex, preoccupation with sex dominates, our repetitive sexual behaviour may go against our own morals, cross our professional and personal boundaries, values. All we may want is lots of sex without any work, or responsibility. Just because we feel something doesn't mean we have to act on those feelings. Over time, we may feel numb inside, compartmentalise things (e.g. if it's sexy it's fine), objectify others (some may now be seeking masturbation addiction counselling). We may be under an illusion there are no consequences. Searching for enmeshment or enjoying the thrill, having an obsession for women, men, addicted to meaningless sex, climax, orgasm, our actions may have become sexually compulsive as if we are addicted to the enjoyable feelings, the high, maybe craving female, male sexual attention (see also Serial Sexual Relationships, Cheating In Our Relationship). And we may feel we have no control over it. Inside we may feel worthless, depressed or struggle to give, receive, share love and want to explore what a healthy sex life means for us. The counselling for sex addiction, pornography counselling for porn, may include exploring how we use sex as a way of managing stress, releasing tension and the impact of how we were/weren't touched, held when younger impacting upon our sexuality - affecting our primal needs now. Love of power may be present, where the power of love may be absent. In the sex addiction counselling we may need to acknowledge this is not just sex we re after (otherwise we would partner up with another sexoholic).

Reasons For Our Sex Addiction, Sex Compulsion We are all so different that each has their own reasons for being addicted to sex, having a sex compulsion. (There can be a connection to our earliest sexual experiences.) Needy inside, some of us may use sex to take away our feelings of emptiness, loneliness, inadequacy, insecurity, fear, stress (see also Uncomfortable With Being Sexual - Sex From Our Wounded, Needy Self, Who In Us (What Part Of Us) Is Sexual?) or come across as a little boy/girl, which is usually a turn off. Needy inside, common themes may include: lacking stimulation in our life and getting stimulation through using sex, emptiness inside, fear of aloneness, abandonment, rejection (see also Uncomfortable With Being Sexual - Sex From Our Wounded, Needy Self, Who In Us (What Part Of Us) Is Sexual?). Orgasm can be a way of releasing stress. Self-critical and judging ourself inside we can become addicted to others to release our tension, using sex to release it. We may want to learn how to embrace our essential goodness - our self-caring, compassion, gentleness, tenderness, strength of our vulnerability. In doing so we are able to define our goodness internally, instead of externally through our sexual compulsions.

Internet Pornography Addiction, Online Porn Addiction & Masturbation Addiction Counselling

Turning To Online Pornography Not everyone who uses pornography is an addict. Just because we use pornography it doesn't mean it causes sexual difficulties, relationship problems. Normalised and easily accessible, convenient, some people turn to internet pornography for relief, to respond to their high sex drive, sexual curiosity, explore their sexual fantasies, expand their sexual repertoire. For our private pleasure and genital enjoyment, we may use internet pornography as a quick and easy way to switch off, as a reward or "treat", which we deserve, to relieve our tension, relax or as a crutch to soothe ourselves, zone out as a distraction, even as a means of getting off to sleep. (Others may lose sleep because of their porn usage.) For us pornography may be more to do with the relationship with ourself and have little to do with our real life relationship if are in one - who and how we are with each other. Some though, may have turned to internet pornography as a means of ignoring our own personal sexual difficulties or as an outlet for responding to other struggles we face, including addressing unresolved issues in our relationship (our partner might feel replaced). Some may be seeking stimulation, sexual thrill, titillation, erotic pleasure, which over time though, may lead to lack of romance, avoiding intimacy - letting others in. With little risk of uncertainty we can have anything we want without waiting, fast forwarding where necessary, as if we have to have sex now and can become about our very survival. The internet exposes us all to pornography and the visual stimulation can be addictive. Sexual arousal through online pornography may become our norm and exposed to internet pornography enough times can render us sexually mechanical, objectifying others and may have been under the illusion that we don't affect others (or ourself) yet have had a wake up call now want to address our pornography problem. Internet overuse or what has been called internet addiction may also include an addiction to pornography - when we are unable to stop our self-destructive sexual behaviours. We may have become too dependent on pornography, have an internet porn problem, shouldn't be doing this but do it anyway and now be seeking porn therapy.

Pornography Addiction Counselling - Caught In The Trap Craving contact, allured by our own personal triggers, our personal will may now have been captured by our desire. The deeper we engage in our online sexual activity, the harder it is to get out of this intoxicating, yet toxic trap. It as if we are powerless. We may have become "caught in the web" as our sexual boundaries become porous, where the beginnings of internet pornography addiction may be emerging and we now may look for pornography addiction therapy, masturbation addiction counselling.

Pornographic Images Over time we may have forsaken the healthy side, benefits of masturbation which may be linked to being dependent on erotic triggers outside of ourself. When we call upon a menu of images, erotic triggers, exclusively focusing on the visual, we may become hooked to the screen (see also Using Sex Addictively, Sex Addiction, Sexual Compulsion, Sexual Addiction Counselling London). And when pornographic images are used to accommodate masturbation, this can end up limiting the healthy sexual relationship with ourself, collapsing, colonising our own sexual imagination, fantasies, creativity from our own mind. We may become like a voyeur at others' expense where people become objects for our sexual gratification, rather than fully relate (see also Emotional Engagement, Emotional Connection, Emotional Intimacy) in rounded ways with other human beings, fantasising about having sex with others (see also Counselling For Sex Addiction, Sex Compulsion - Differences Between Online Sex & Face-To-Face Intimate Encounters), we may have developed an addictive need for novelty, the visual stimulation, array of images, "availability", choice, range of temptations and the variety of what's before us, may tantalise us. We may download more and more extreme or distorted graphic images (sexual triggers) of people with different ethnicities, size, shape, sexual situations, scenarios, fantasies, as if that's what bodies look like, passion looks like, sex looks like (almost the polar opposite to the rounded experience of sexual union). Over time it may take much longer to find arousing images and we may end up engaging in material more and more extreme and graphic to achieve the same response (see also High-Low Addiction Model - From Temporary Pleasure To Fallout). Bearing little resemblance to sexual reality, forsaking what gives us deep connection with others, what we value, we can spend hours anticipating imagining these images. We may become captured by the array of visual images and what we see by the allure of beauty, attraction, desire, longing and want to capture the feelings we have in that moment yet they rapidly fade. Pornography is visual and other senses are absent. The role of touch and all the other senses in our lives may need to be explored. Compartmentalising things, diminishing how we touch ourselves emotionally, physically, we may miss fully rounded sexual experiences with a responsive, warm-blooded human being and have become addicted to masturbation and seeking masturbation addiction counselling.

Out Of Control A lot of us have an unacknowledged part of our sexuality. The Internet gives us a way to look at this, yet we may not know how to put the brakes on and stop surfing the net,in order to seek instant gratification. Overwhelmed, it can quickly become our sexual obsession with a need to push things towards taking risky steps which become self-harmful. Struggling to think, make conscious choices, we may have allowed our biological responses, impulses, to get the better of us, as if finding ourselves in there doing it and half-heartedly promising ourself we will stop - always in the future. Just because we feel something doesn't mean we have to act on those feelings. Fantasy and reality can blur, which may be part the reason we are seeking internet porn addiction help, porn therapy.

Porn Addiction Counselling London - Rationalising Our Behaviour Messages can go round in our head to rationalise the way we act to excuse and justify our sexual actions. We can even believe our own impaired and distorted thinking - persuading and justifying that we are doing nothing wrong, e.g. "I don't have a pornography problem", "Internet pornography has nothing to do with infidelity", "It's not affecting me or others", "It relieves the pressure". Denial may be an aspect of our internet porn problem, porn addiction.

Counselling For Pornography Addiction - Our Secret We can have all the trappings of life: money, authority, status, prestige, responsibility, yet have a cyber sex secret, living a parallel life, and now seeking sex addiction help. If we are in a relationship, our partner can respond just as if we've had an affair (see Effects On Our Partner & Others). And we may secretly resent them being around, make excuses, so we can be on our own, can't wait for them to go out, go to bed. Some of us may enjoy the dare, thrill, testing if we will get "caught". We may refuse to see that we have an internet porn problem, porn addiction. (See also Illusion Of Safety)

Need For Help Using porn may end up not being life-affirming, taking us further away from the "real me". In despair at times, we may have become a shadow of ourself or live our life as if we are hiding in the shadow. Some of us need to wait until we are forced to do something about our pornography problem by our partner, family member, friend or the legal system. Sometimes it's as if we are waiting to be found out. When our internet porn problem has been revealed (affecting not just our partner but our extended family, friends), we can often have sense of relief, released, that we are now doing something about it - wanting to quit porn addiction. Others choose to initiate help themselves. Either way we need help for our internet porn addiction and seek porn therapy.

Porn Addiction Counselling London - Regaining Control Recognising we have a sex addiction, internet porn addiction, turning towards sex addiction help, porn therapy, we may struggle controlling our internet usage and need help to regain control, which plays a key part in our internet porn addiction. We may have become so dependent of using pornography that we find it hard to let go.

From Curiosity To Porn Problem By now we may have been drawn into algorithms, into places we feel uncomfortable with. We may have a pornography problem with the dark side of the internet, being in some ways imprisoned by misuse or abuse of cyber porn. What started off as sexual curiosity, may become like a Pandora's box and sabotaging things as our quality of life erodes, we may now seek internet pornography addiction treatment, masturbation addiction counselling.

Pornography Addiction Counselling London - Escapism Cutting off from any disturbing thoughts, we may also use pornography for managing stress relief, releasing tension, comfort, solace, release and to purge something inside, escape from frustrations, uncomfortable thoughts and feelings (e.g. fear, anger, shame or of life itself, existential issues), the pressures of life as a way of getting out of ourself. Shutting things down, blocking things out, using internet porn can be a way of temporarily anaesthetise our feelings, escaping into our fantasy world. In our attempts to escape, ironically we may become more uncomfortable, trapped inside our internet pornography addiction, struggling to free up our life.

Unable To Stop How to quit porn addiction may now preoccupy us as we crave it. Turning to the porn highway, it can be as if we can't get off. We've been doing it for so long now, we might as well continue, may be another voice. As part of our sex addiction, we can choose to put sex above and beyond all our activities. We can become lonely, tired and hungry for something very deep, as our loneliness, emptiness becomes sexualised by the porn industry. We may know, deep inside, that we need other people - engaging in fulfilling relationships, yet can't stop our world of online porn, and find it hard to trust others. Our internet pornography addiction can be like a drug when we are unable to stop, as if we let our urges, impulses get the better of us and there is no other choice. The quicker we do it, the quicker we can temporarily get rid of those uncomfortable voices, which tell us "Don't do it". Something clicks inside and then, like a switch, as if we turn into somebody else, we return to porn. It can happen so quickly. Our addictive porn use may never be enough and become rarely pleasurable, enjoyable. Exhaustion may set in. Sex addiction therapy can be a space to discuss this and find different ways of responding to our porn problem.

Regressive Cul-De-Sac We may turn inwards, crowding out the rest of our life and as if acting out some sort of repetition compulsion, our regressive behaviour can take us down a pseudo world leading to a cul-de-sac, having emotionless sex, without savouring the richness of deep sexual experiences, yet at the same time we can ignore any difficulties bonding (see also Our First Relationship - Early Connections & Bonding Patterns), emotional connection and by now we may feel we are wasting so much of our life.

Porn Addiction Counselling London - Losing Ourselves What once we believed gave us harmless pleasure, may now have become our hidden curse. Easily distracted as we loose our train of thought, pulled and compelled we slip deeper into the world of cyber porn, as if we are a different person, wrapped in our bubble to block everything out, disconnected in some way, lost or stuck, sleep walking or daydreaming, in a trance-like state, maybe numbing our feelings, distorting our values, perception, concentration. Our track of time becomes blurred, as if our mind detaches and we are free-falling into a disconnected state. We may lose our own momentum for what's important in life. Preoccupied, not only our time online is consumed by internet porn, but also the time we spend thinking about porn away from the computer - as porn consumes our mind, imagining, rehearsing scenarios, planning, anticipating, etc. As we switch on the computer, it can be as if we switch off inside, becoming glazed all over, stepping outside ourself, watching us do it as if our personality have two sides and this other side takes over moving from being in control to no longer. We may have let pornography take us over, as if it has control over us at times. By now we may have recognised we have an internet porn problem or porn addiction, seeking internet porn addiction help. (See also Uncomfortable With Being Sexual - Sex From Our Wounded, Needy Self, Who In Us (What Part Of Us) Is Sexual?)

Preoccupation With Internet Porn Stimulating thoughts may creep in at any time, and when constant, they may drain our energy as we deplete ourselves. We can be preoccupied with the excitement of the forbidden, searching for our erotic triggers, sexually objectifying the person linked to our source of arousal. This can happen not only online, but also in our off-line world. We may not only objectify others, but it can be as if we become an object ourself, remote, addicted to pornography. Sex addiction therapy can look further into this with you. We may frequently worry when we can find the time to look at pornography (often getting angry at others' demands, which distract us), yet also fear that the extent of our pornography problem may be found out. Masturbation addiction therapy can be offered.

Counselling For Porn Addiction - Sense Of Isolation Believing we are unlovable and unworthy - maybe not liking ourselves, we conclude that others cannot meet our needs, so we escape into sexually explicit websites in order to bear our sense of disconnection, loneliness or alienation, yet our isolation increases the more hooked we are to online sex. The sex can become so important, it can almost become our reason for living, yet inside we feel lost, barren, dirty or as if our whole world is stagnating. Shoring up our internet pornography addiction, there may be an invisible wall around us and our esteem may plummet. Struggling with relationship communication skills, we may have avoided emotional connection with our partner and indeed ourself. These issues can be discussed in the counselling for porn addiction.

Side Effects The preoccupation of searching can build our sexual excitement (release of dopamine), leading to release, relief. We can end up being addicted to the sex chemicals in our body. Searching for another "buzz" we may become sullen afterwards and many of us may become dependent on other substances, addictions, and the internet pornography addiction therapy can work with these too.

Counselling For Porn Addiction London - Risks & Consequences Even if cautious in other areas in our life, some may get a thrill out of taking a few risks, get a kick from flirting with danger. We may temporarily relieve our stress by visiting online pornography sites, whatever the consequences. As part of our internet porn addiction, we become no longer aware of risks, dangers or consequences, yet we may be ready to turn to porn addiction treatment. We don't become accountable to who and how we are, denying its consequences.

Illusion Of Safety The pornography stokes fantasies, yet by now we may have cut off things, separate our pornography world from our other life. Entrenched inside our internet porn addiction, experiencing a more real form of sex can seem complicated or risky, needing much effort. Whereas in our fantasy world our fantasy sex gives us a fantasy of safety. We may believe we will be unseen, yet a part of us may secretly want to be "found out" (see also Need For Help). What this means for us can be explored in the porn addiction treatment, sex addiction therapy.

What & Who Is Real What we notice online is usually limited to exactly what people want us to know. Usually they, and sometimes we, are playing roles, which have little bearing in our "other" life, which for some can be disappointing, confusing, when catfishing occurs - pretending to be someone else online, or there is disinhibition - lacking online restraint. When we lose touch of who we are, we are no longer true to ourself, where others can become just "things". It can be as if we have allowed our internet porn addiction to take us over.

Pornography Addiction London - Incomplete or Pseudo World The internet provides an incomplete or pseudo world, where we can find "a partner", communicate with them, see and hear them, and have sex. However, the senses of touch, smell, taste and much more are absent (see also Counselling For Sex Addiction, Sex Compulsion - Differences Between Online Sex & Face-To-Face Intimate Encounters). Healthy ways of attracting, dating and courting may also be absent. Intimacy is not rounded (see also Porn Addiction Counselling in London - Intimacy In Our Interpersonal Relationships). The lens with which we see others, and how we are seen, is split. The quality of the relationship is impaired. Often we can be deluded that we are experiencing full and real human contact, yet in fact the contact is through images on a screen, the sex is fantasy in a fantasy world of surrealness, a place disconnected from reality, as if we are slowly regressing towards a cul-de-sac. Our sex addiction may have taken hold of us and we may now be looking for porn addiction counselling, sex addiction counselling.

Fear We can be living a contradictory life, where part of us wants to know how to quit porn addiction, and the other half doesn't want to acknowledge we have a pornography problem. It may be that by now we experience some sort of an emotional deficit. Many of us can fear intimacy, or ending their relationship. In an attempt to avoid our fear and anxiety, about our ability to cope with rejection and abandonment we compulsively masturbate, as part of our internet porn addiction. Fear of missing out (FOMO) may also be a driver as we turn to pornographic images. We may struggle in saying "No" to our urges, compulsion. Love of power may be present. The power of love may be absent. What all this means for us can be included in the pornography addiction therapy, internet pornography addiction counselling.

Porn Addiction Counselling in London - Intimacy In Our Interpersonal Relationships If we have a partner we may no longer turn to them for sexual intimacy. Or our partner may say "No" to sex or be unwilling to indulge in all our sexual fantasies. We may be ambivalent about our relationship, struggle to communicate our intimacy needs, have an unsatisfying sexual life, a dwindling desire for the person we are with or no longer allow ourself to get excited by everyday sex. The challenges of intimate sex with a real partner (or future partners) may at times include mundaneness and complexity. Discovering, noticing, building a relationship and flirting with someone in real encounters, in real time, provides a deeper and natural experience. Being physically in touch with someone, we gain a stronger sense of who they actually are, over the natural time it takes to develop a rounded relationship. In flesh and blood relationships we need to consider others' needs and we can't so easily delete, or pretend things didn't happen, as online by clicking a mouse. We may turn to pornography so it spares us the anxiety of having to make it with someone else, avoid any risks, the frustrations of love, making love, avoid intimacy. True intimacy requires warmth, contact, emotional and physical connection, sharing of vulnerability. Things may have become unbalanced. By now we may view our partner as getting in the way of our behaviour. "Might I get away with it?" may be our attitude. Exploring our feelings (rather than concealing them from us and our partner), and the relationship between intimacy and sex addiction or internet porn addiction, can be included in the internet pornography addiction treatment alongside talking about, sharing our sexual feelings, using our emotional awareness, expressing intimate emotions, asking for what we need, exploring our own attachment issues, any sexual shame we hold. (See also Unmet Love Needs & Emotional Neediness)

Other Relationship Considerations Diminishing or degrading ourself and others, some of us may compartmentalise sex prefer masturbation with pornography to having loving, intimate sex with our partner, living life as if we are still single or have commitment or abandonment issues. Besides, we don't have to do any relating and pornography is readily available, accessible, affordable. We may not have to worry about our performance, get involved in any conflict, address contraception, fertility issues, and for some the pornography sex can be more satisfying, because we struggle to find the necessary communication skills, be intimate, ask for what we need, receive love or offer what our partner needs.

Effects On Our Partner & Others Our partner may have their own assumptions about sex meaning the same thing for both of us. They may have discovered we've been using pornography and struggle to see it as just a part of us - not all of us. They may have felt excluded from this secret or view it as disgusting, degrading and feel contaminated by it. This can feel like a betrayal. Yet for some partners, rather than going to right or wrong, they may be OK with acknowledging our need for privacy. There may be a need for mutual understanding, empathy, even if couples don't entirely agree on pornography usage (which for some couples can enhance the relationship - yet for other couples threaten it). However a mutual understanding of this may not be possible or we may be so addicted to pornography that it gets in the way of a loving, intimate and sexual relationship. Whether our partner is consensual, knows or not, what we do has a ripple effect on the relationship. "What is sacred in our relationship?" may be an important question. Using porn may be a sanctuary for us, yet can affect the sanctuary, monogamy and safety of our relationship. Our non-consensual partner may have discovered (to some extent), what we've been doing and we may hold a view that it's only pornography - that it's meaningless yet it is our brain, our body which engages with it, with real people at the other end. (The porn industry is often exploitative.) We don't exist in a vacuum and have divided our loyalties or believe we have no responsibilities. Similarly to the effects of infidelity, having an affair, when using cyber pornography, our partner can feel unsafe, sexually abandoned, blame themselves, their esteem and confidence may erode, they may feel insulted and betrayed, lose trust and respect in us and the monogamous relationship (see also On The Receiving End - Responding To Our Partner's Affair). Security, robustness and empathy can get eroded, as may intimacy, emotional connection. What it means to be in a committed relationship can be discussed in the pornography counselling. The relationship can get to a crisis point, we may not only have neglected them, our relationship, but also us and may need to decide the parameters of our relationship, marriage. Recovering our relationship may now be a concern (see also The Challenges Ahead For Both Of Us). Others too in our and our partner's life may also be indirectly, directly affected - even our work.

Soulless Hooked in the world of cyber porn, we can become barren - emotionally, as if our heart have closed and spiritually void in our closed world, isolated turning to pornography in an attempt to fill the gap inside, which never quite goes away and our internet pornography addiction takes hold. The person we once knew - us, goes AWOL, reduces, caught in our misery and pain. What was once our guiding inner voice that gave us protective boundaries, collapses as we no longer care or think about our actions. It is as if our life is sapping away and we have a hole in our soul. We may want to quit our porn addiction, yet not now how to quit porn properly. The porn therapy can at ways how to break porn addiction, regain the fullness of your life back.

Behavioural Effects Of Sex Addiction, Internet Porn Addiction

• Preoccupation with internet sex
• Loss of focus in our home & at work
• Relationships with partner, family & friends, work colleagues in crisis or jeopardy
• Undermines our career, including lost productivity as we go "missing" at work
• Places us in compromising positions
• Frequent unsuccessful efforts to stop or control engaging in online sex
• Secrets & lies
• Illusion of control
• Denying that we need internet pornography addiction treatment
• Crosses many boundaries with us & others
• Blaming others
• Compartmentalises our behaviour, as if we are in two worlds - one involving others, the other our secret, private, hidden world
• Prevents us doing other tasks & activities, forgetting things, procrastinating
• Difficulties relating & maintaining positive, healthy & intimate relationships
• Finding it hard to see what's happening to us, or to control our behaviour
• Punishing ourself in some sort of masochistic way
• Using sex as a means of avoiding problems or relief from our shame, guilt, depression, anxiety, low confidence, self-esteem, etc.
• Searching for intensified or riskier sexual experiences
• Turning to substances
• Involvement in illegal acts
• Sexual performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction, orgasm difficulties
• Increased sexual anxiety in real-life sex
• Our finances suffer, usually much more than we care to imagine
• Our physical, emotional, psychological, sexual & spiritual wellbeing

Familiar Sex Addiction, Porn Addiction Experiences, Stimulation & Erotic Triggers For some (usually men) the loneliness, emptiness we feel can be sexualised by pornography as we become caught, addicted to pornography. The easy availability of pornography can stimulate our erotic triggers, flooding our senses with an infinite variety of images. Compromising our integrity, values, in the situations we get in, we may experience a range of emotions & feelings. The counselling for porn addiction can offer support in addressing how we can manage any of our addiction triggers.

Hope We may be faced with a choice of being in the dark or reaching for the light. Painful though some of these feelings are, they can also be a positive sign, a wake-up call, meaning that we may be ready to honestly look at ourself and way of living, the effects of our internet porn addiction, willingness to embark upon porn therapy.

Role Of Sex Addiction Therapy The more we are trying to inhibit our sexuality, the stronger it gets, so the sex addiction therapy, porn addiction therapy is not about denying our sexuality, but more about expressing it in healthy ways, which work for us. Internet pornography addiction isn't only about sex or having a high sex drive where the sex addiction counselling and psychotherapy acknowledges this and also explores the unique functions of our sexual addiction, the wide range of other triggers and feelings (e.g. shame - often from childhood experiences including early neglect). There can be an internal conflict between our sexual desire/arousal - pulling us in one direction, and our values/relationships - pulling us in another direction. Life is about making relationships, soul-to-soul connection, and unless we get hold of that, we may not go very far. Alongside the role and approach of addiction therapy, my role is to support you in finding and talking about the root of what the problem is (sometimes connected to our earliest sexual experiences), making positive changes in your life to help you not only understand the significance of your porn problem, including the negative consequences, but also educate yourself about sex, so you can:

• Get control back in our life
• Change our core beliefs, including damaging self-beliefs
• Feel less isolated, shameful & regain our self-esteem
• Become aware of replaying our experiences, re-enacted memories from the past
• Managing our erotic triggers, cravings
• Being erotically aware of our sexual triggers, responding differently
• Learn from positive role models around sex
• Explore our relationship style
• Be sexually safe
• Redirect our desire towards what nourishes us, what's meaningful, what's sacred, respectful of our self & others
• Be supported in restoring healthy intimacy, sensual touch, sexuality & quality of life
• Have a period of no longer watching pornography, dropping sexualised fantasies in order to explore relational and unconscious causes, deeper psychological, emotional needs
• Explore (without fantasy or visual stimulations) mindful masturbation focusing on the physical sensations & then eventually use these experience in any partnered sex
• Acknowledge the value of sex in regulating our emotions, so we can regulate ourself from stress, past traumas in other ways, by making better decisions about our sexual behaviours, making practical changes
• Identify what positive sexuality means for us & how it enriches our life
• Rebuild a healthy relationship to sex, which isn't about abstinence. Rediscover our own natural libido
• Integrate our emotions with our sexuality
• Explore intimacy in our interpersonal relationships & be trusted
• No longer separating our sex with relationships
• Build resilience, establish boundaries
• Continuing to stop our behaviour through also managing our emotions, including stress, fear, anxiety, loneliness, depression, anger

Range Of Unhelpful Habits, Distractions, Addictions Counselling London

Alcohol Problem

• Binge drinking, alcohol problem, alcoholism, alcohol addiction, being an alcoholic

Internet, Computer, Technology & Communication "Addiction"

• Sex Addiction - Pornography Problem, Porn Addiction, Online Sex, Internet Sex & Cybersex Addiction, Masturbation Addiction
• Online Chat Addiction, Text Chat Room Addiction & Internet Dating Addiction Counselling London
• Technology Addiction & Gadget Addiction Counselling London
• Internet Overuse, Internet Addiction & Computer Addiction
• Mobile Addiction Counselling In London, Email, Text, Telephone Addiction, Nomophobia
• Social Media Addiction Counselling London
• Addicted To Games - Computer Games Addiction, Online Games Addiction, Video Game Addiction & Computer Gaming Addiction Help

Other Obsessions, Compulsions Or "Addictions"

• Stress Eating, Emotional Eating, Comfort Eating, Binge Eating Help, Compulsive Eating Counselling, Food Addiction Therapy
• Fitness, Gym & Exercise Addiction
• Compulsive Shopping, Compulsive Spending, Shopping Addiction & Shopaholism - Shopaholics, Shopping Addicts, Addicted To Buying, Online Auction Addiction, Credit Card Addiction
• Gambling Problems, Compulsive Gambling, Online Gambling Addiction
• Money Obsessed - Addicted To Money, Money Addiction, Money Obsession, Trading Addiction, Counselling London
• Work-Life Balance, Workaholism, Addicted To Work & Work Addiction
• Busyness addiction, addiction to activities
• Worry addiction
• Perfectionism Counselling London
• Addicted to beauty, glamour
• Approval addiction
• Addicted to self criticism, self-blame
• Addiction to fixing others, addicted to pleasing others
• Romance addiction, love addiction, serial yet uncommitted relationships, addiction to conflict, bad relationships
• Addictive Element To Certain Attachment Styles
• Caretaking, codependency
• Emotional affairs, limerence
• Emotional addiction
• Addiction to talking
• Addicted to gossip
• Addicted to dramas
• Addicted to anger
• Addiction to shame, self-blame
• Addiction to pain, suffering
• Addicted to sleep
• Procrastination
• Clutter, messiness
• Addiction to spirituality
• Addicted to meditation
• Religious Activities - Obsession With Religion, Religious Addiction

... back to Unwanted Habits & Addictions Counselling London