Counselling & Psychotherapy
Central London, Camden, Kings Cross, London NW1
Glen Gibson - Dip. Counselling, MA Psychotherapy, Dip. Psychotherapy
UKCP & mBACP Accredited Male Therapist, Counsellor & Psychotherapist

HSP Counselling For Hyper Emotional, Sensitive People

Counselling For HSP - Sensitive People or HSP HSP is not a sensory processing disorder, nor it is introvertness, extrovertness, ADHD (which can be mistaken for HSP, as can being autistic), Bipolar, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, PTSD or as result of a traumatic event. (Yet for some our sensitive disposition may coexist with these other symptoms.) Being super-sensitive, there is nothing "wrong" with us, we may just get over-stimulated (and some may experience adrenaline overload). The quality of sensitivity is a neutral term, yet many of us or our culture, interpret it positively or negatively (especially in men). Notwithstanding the impact of life experiences, our highly sensitive nature where we can feel things deeply, experience heightened responses, is usually viewed as innate and hardwired meaning that as a result of numerous interacting genes our nervous system, amygdala reactivity is more sensitive to stimuli (the environment) than most of the population. Our high sensitivity is present from birth, a part of our temperament, where we have a more sensitive central nervous system (see also Our sense of identity & who we are). We may need to reset our nervous system through calming strategies (e.g. breathing, meditation). Our hyper-arousal, tenderness, vulnerability - wearing our heart on our sleeve, can at times be a delight and a quality we value, yet other times too much for us and others. Highly sensitive people may have a gift of feeling things deeply or become emotionally charged (hyper-emotional), deeply moved to tears sometimes by the smallest of things, and we may be easily affected by what others say or do, picking up on little details, their energy - what has been termed being an intuitive empath (not all highly sensitive people are empaths). Occasionally we may also misinterpret the signals of what we pick up. Working long hours can deplete our energy (see also Burnout Counselling, Work Stress Counselling London). When our nervous system is overloaded and the energy is not protected but depleted, we may often feel submerged, overwhelmed as things get too much. We may react by numbing our feelings as if at times we "crash and burn", where our emotions are either all out there or all inside. Taking a moment to pause, find our breath and recharge may help us. For the highly sensitive person, we and others around us may end up walking on eggshells at times. And the HSP counselling can explore these issues with us.

HSP Counselling - Valuing Our Sensitivities Exceptionally sensitive, some of us may have experienced heightened responses to our brain - what has been termed having sensory processing sensitivities - SPS (see also Neuro-Diversity, Diagnosis). Our HSP gives us a range of positive attributes. Our sensitive disposition, delicate equilibrium can be viewed as a gift. Loving, valuing, accepting our creativity and rich inner life - that we are affected by our environment, art, music, etc. The ability to perceive subtle positive, negative energies, our perception of people's feelings, moods may be important. A downside to our emotional sensitivity can be overwhelment (or having such a strong sense of justice that it can easily turn to anger). For some we can experience sensory overload and the counselling for Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS) can explore this further. Hyper-aroused, our sensitivities and senses can also help anchor us. Others may struggle to value our sensitive side - our consciousness and the qualities that our sensitivities, intuition, sensory awareness, bring in us and into relationships, our work. Our sensitivities also have the potential to be in tune with our and others' emotions, build meaningful relationships with others, open us up to depths of feeling, somatic reactions, the qualities of our inner child, experiences with nature, of vivid images, our empathy, tenderness, vulnerability, creativity, enjoying a sensually rich, sexual life. Counselling for sensitivities, HSP psychotherapy explores the impact of the positive and any negative effects of our sensitivities further (e.g. managing our exhaustion). And what we may be experiencing inside can also be explored in the counselling for highly sensitive people.

Psychotherapy For HSP - Needing Excitement, Stimulus, Overstimulating Ourselves Often cautious about safety, some may also enjoy seeking high sensations. Yet highly sensitive to stimulus (especially if we have symptoms of ADHD), we may need, crave for stimulation, excitement, danger. Responding to stimulus well (so it doesn't result in over-stimulation or become self-sabotage) may be challenging, as we may need the support of our boundaries as we notice and regulate our energy so our emotions don't bounce all over the place, or fluctuate from alertness to tiredness. Hyper-emotional at times, some of us may over-share our feelings as if they spill out of us. We may want to regulate and manage some of our feelings so we are not so emotionally overwhelmed (see also Emotional Responsibility, Emotional Energy, Emotional Health, Emotional Wellbeing, Emotional Evaluation, Emotional Strength, Emotional Resilience, Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Growth, Emotional Maturity - Being Emotionally Connected).

Counselling For HSP - Highly Sensitive People (HSP) - Sensory Overload, What We May Be Experiencing Inside Especially when hyper emotional, our experiences, environmental, emotional sensitivities, can easily swamp, overwhelm us as if we feel invaded, where the scale of things can be too much. Experienced through our senses, this can include: reading and listening simultaneously, being hyper-sensitive to noise - loud or high-pitched sounds (e.g. drills, sirens), background noise and activity (e.g. numerous people speaking at once, where ear loops can assist some of us), being over or under-sensitive to crowds, touch (maybe with an aversion to scratchy, overly loose or tight clothing), strong smells or tastes (certain tastes may affect us more, like caffeine, alcohol), hot and cold temperature changes, textures, rough fabrics, tight or loose clothing, unusual reaction to light (photosensitivity) or bright lights (e.g. LED, fluorescent tubes) or seeing heightened colours, beauty, yet also things we'd not rather see (we may for example make a point of avoiding violent films). As if a hypersensitivity reaction, our immune system may identify substances (e.g. electro-magnetic hypersensitivity) as harmful, affecting inflammation, fatigue, tiredness, nausea, dizziness, heart palpitation, digestive disturbances, concentration difficulties. We may not only sense ours but others' energies (absorbing them, sometimes as if they are ours). It is said highly sensitive people also have highly active "mirror neurons" - cells in our brain that help us empathise with and understand emotions of others - absorbing or picking up on both negative and positive emotions, people's (and the world's) energies more deeply, as if they are our own. Being in touch with our own boundaries, what separates us from others - "this is me, I am not you", distinguishing whose feelings they actually are, regulating what we take in, can support us alongside not taking disappointment so personally and being open to our light-heartedness, playfulness, carefreeness, laughter, fun and our sense of humour. Our hyper-sensitivity may have been pointed out to us a long time ago. Being highly tuned to others' senses, emotions, atmospheres may submerge or overwhelm us at times (see also Internal World Of An Empath). Our mind may jump from branch to branch like a monkey and we may be bewildered that others don't experience our speed of processing information or feel the same depth as us. We may struggle to moderate the amount of sensory information that our body picks up. And we can feel emotions through all our body, which for some may also point to various symptoms e.g. adrenal overload. Hunger and pain can particularly affect us. Some may have little sense of weight, speed, time (time blindness), distance and our directional sense may be poor or struggle with our physical self and spatial relationships with others. We may have a rich and complex inner life, enjoying (at the right time and mood) subtle, delicate or fine tastes, scents, sounds, the aesthetic, works of art, things of beauty, tactility, sensuality, intimacy. Therapy for HSP can explore our highly tuned senses further for us, and exploring possible ways of filtering them when we need to.

Sensitivity As A Trait People with a sensitive disposition are on a spectrum from low to high. Our experiences can be both negative and positive and may have a combination of traits. We can:

• Be super-perceptive
• Be hyper-vigilant
• Be acutely aware of others' body language & the subtle, physical cues
• Be more aware of subtleties of our surroundings
• Be more easily overwhelmed when experiencing highly stimulating environments
• Be sensitive to subtle stimulus
• Enjoy the rich sensations of life
• Notice details in nature
• Be more easily affected by world events & have a strong sense of justice
• Be bothered by levels of stress others would tolerate, become more anxious than others, have low esteem, need daily downtime
• Pick up energies around us that we start to vibrate or feel frazzled
• Burn out more easily
• Process experiences, information, more deeply (because there is so much to see, experience), e.g. see all facets of a problem, quickly grasp interpretations, insights
• Pull in other associated feelings, intense emotions, when experiencing an initial emotion
• Be easily bored in conversation, struggling with small talk, need depth
• Feel things deeply, be highly empathic, a good listener, understand others' perspective and needs
• Be more emotional
• Cry more easily
• Want and need meaningful work
• When observed, perform more poorly
• Be highly responsive to positive or negative feedback
• Be avoidant of noise, crowds, deadlines
• Be sensitive to pain, medication (often needing a lower dose)
• Startle easily
• May over-think things, especially about our future
• Have amazing dreams
• Be extremely creative, intuitive
• Place our spiritual path at the centre of life

HSP Counselling - Giving Our Power/Energy Away? We may experience heightened energy spurts, slumps, rendering us fatigued, especially if we use up a lot of our mental energy. (Conditions, such as chronic fatigue syndrome - CFS and Fibromyalgia have sometimes been linked to our high sensitivity, where integrative medicine may support us.) Taking in a lot, sometimes we can allow others to get under our skin, permeating us, suck our energy (see also Qualities Of An Empath), so much so that it can disempower us. Emotionally sensitive, we may be sensitive to criticism. It may be important to develop a thick skin when we need to. Giving our power away, we can be overly affected by the opinions, choices & actions of others, including negativity and we may become disappointed at times. We may become easily blown off track and our mind can be like a sponge absorbing unnecessary thoughts, or feelings, which belong to others, yet we digest these. Realising all feelings that aren't ours may support us. We may be over-tuned emotionally, become needy or clingy or become sponge-like for everything around us, absorbing others' energies, emotions or wanting others to absorb, feel ours (see also Enmeshment). This can put us under pressure and be tiring. Yet also absorbing the surrounding environment can help us capture and process negative and positive experiences, live life fully. (Ayurvedic medicine points to some people having a Vata constitution.) Counselling for sensitivity can explore what happens to us inside, how settled we are in ourself, centred, anchored in our own ground with our sense of empowerment, so we are less like an emotional sponge, in reaction to anything anyone thinks or says about us (see also Unhealthily Looking For Social Approval, To Be Liked, Noticed, For External Validation, Encouragement, Approval, Affirmation, Reassurance, Confirmation, Permission, Recognition, To Be Valued, Appreciation, Praise, Attention, Adoration, Admiration, Adulation, Acceptance, Trust), and we are able to protect ourselves, take responsibility for our own behaviour & responses, strengthening our own positive emotions and any loose or porous boundaries.

HSP Therapy - Our Challenges Some may struggle with everyday things and want to enjoy life more. We may worry a lot or get very stressed (or panicked when overwhelmed) especially when we have a lot to do in a short period of time. Inside some may feel depressed at times. We may try to avoid overwhelming, upsetting situations, maybe withdraw on occasions into the cocoon of our own safety, privacy. We may shut down to relieve us from overwhelming situations. At times we may feel as sensitive or insignificant, like a grain of sand, subject to life's elements. We may struggle to participate in the world, as it unfolds and changes, or to be resilient and be part of something larger than ourselves. Experiences we feel may seem much more to us - which can be a blessing, because we sense so much, that our creativity can flourish, or almost a curse at times, because the impact of these can be too overwhelming. We can live as if powerful feelings experienced a long time ago, are present in us now (see also Our Painbody). Some may feel, inadequate, setting extremely high standards (not always living up to these) and our procrastination may compound things for some as we get caught in vicious circle affecting our negative sense of self (see also Confidence Building - Empowering Us). Others may have become so self-absorbed, living as if only we (and our own precious feelings) count, yet this may work against us, tiring us out.

Counselling For Highly Sensitive People - Our Own Sensitivities Our sensitivities, hyper-emotionality colour our perceptions & can cause us to react strongly, affecting our vitality. All men & women have emotional sensitivities (especially when we are hungry, stressed or tired) which stem from our needs & experiences in the world. Usually, these needs are very basic. Those of us who are highly sensitive, may be especially sensitive to being:

• Disrespected - we tend to respond well when the feedback we receive is largely positive, as opposed to destructive comments & criticism. We feel better when others seek & value our opinions. Those of us who have a strong psychological need for respect, can be easily put down or deeply hurt by others (including hurt in our relationship), especially if we have misinterpreted their behaviour as disrespectful or controlling. People around us need to be especially careful to look & sound respectful.
• Controlled - we tend to respond antagonistically to directives, but better to requests, thrive on being given choices. It is important for us to be allowed to make decisions & be in charge wherever possible, and at the same time take others into consideration. Those of us who are sensitive to being controlled may misinterpret people's intentions & motivations. We may experience being controlled in our relationship, or indeed try to be the controlling one.
• Abandoned - we tend to respond better when we are being heard, kept informed, included in social situations & appreciate affection & closeness in our relationship or marriage. Those of us who are sensitive to being abandoned may misread the behaviour of others as rejection.
• Invaded - we tend to respond with anger or withdrawal. We may feel easily invaded by others. Maybe lacking boundaries, we may feel easily submerged, overwhelmed by groups of people, crowds, working long hours without looking after our energy levels. Those of us who are sensitive to our own space can get uncomfortable, claustrophobic or fear getting engulfed. It is as if our very self becomes constricted. We can feel unsafe, with too much closeness, yet paradoxically want companionship & intimacy, which may be at a different pace to others or our partner, if we are in a relationship. However, some of us may find difficult to let love in, putting up walls of protection, finding it hard to truly experience love (see also Being Autonomous Yet Part Of A Couple).

Highly Sensitive People Counselling - Scale Of Sensitivities - How Our Buttons May Get Pressed, Especially In Relationships Our sensitivities can give us the ability to deeply connect. We can all feel lost, stuck at times and we all have our own personal hooks & triggers. Sometimes (especially if we are feeling tired, hungry, stressed, unwell, low) we may be hyper-aroused, reactive and take things (someone's moods, behaviour, looks, remarks, criticism, etc. - see also Receiving Criticism) so personally (especially in our relationship, sometimes as if all & everything is only about us) and become over-defensive as part of our protective pattern. People pleasing may be a trait. Preoccupied, we may easily take things to heart, feel angry, hurt, upset, yet overlook that matters outside of ourself are about others - them. Our sensitivities for some of us can be so very important, and precious to us that the way we perceive others in the world can lead us to misinterpret things. We may become hyper-critical and over-react in irrational, disproportionate ways, setting off a chain of events as things spiral (see also Creating Dramas, Causing A Drama). The narcissistic part of us may demand things are done in a certain way - our way. Yet if we are not careful we can get caught in a victim, persecutor or rescuer mode or want others to take responsibility for our own feelings. We may want to simply observe what we, others see when giving, receiving feedback. For some highly sensitive people, when our buttons get pressed, this may also point to something unhealed when younger (and some of us may struggle to grow up). This can be explored within the HSP psychotherapy. Easily wounded, punctured, hurt or shamed to our very core (often dating back from our past), we in turn may react to other people's reactions and get stuck in this pattern, as each others buttons are pushed. This for some is especially true in our relationship with our partner, who seems to have the ability to push our buttons, triggers, as we get hooked into something we find difficult to unhook ourselves from. It can be a challenge for us to:

• Manage our hyper-emotionality
• Not making everything about us
• Not end up sabotaging things
• Take responsibility for the part we play in making sure we don't unintentionally push other people's buttons
• Be committed in the relationship (because we are so aware of the cost of loss yet the benefits of closeness)
• Not be controlling, blaming, criticising our partner when our buttons get pressed, taking responsibility for our own feelings.
• Manage our angry outbursts or internalised anger
• Respond to our own intolerance & that of others
• Control our emotions when other people are behaving badly
• Step back, double check our perceptions & find other possible perspectives
• Remain focused, putting our attention where we need to
• Validate our own experience & feelings, develop a thick skin when necessary
• Learn overtime to take charge of our sensitivities, so we can feel freer, at ease with our life
• Be light-hearted, with our sense of humour
• Be less caught up in ourselves
• Remain resilient

Walking On Eggshells "Why do I easily react to situations?" may be something we ask. Many of us become prickly at times. Some of us may want to stop walking on eggshells, being such a sensitive person, so things aren't so intense, serious, that we can also see the bigger picture. Easily bruised we may feel sensitive, be over-sensitive, walk on eggshells around others. When we are fragile or feel overly sensitive, we too can choose to see other people as difficult. So when buttons are pressed, there are many factors in play, including our own inadvertent contribution, especially if our sensitivities are so precious to us, or we struggle to take care of our own needs, be safe inside, in spite of external factors. None of us are saints and sometimes others may say they too have to walk on eggshells around us. We may have been called a highly sensitive person, over-sensitive, too sensitive and feel ashamed. Having to live up to our expectations, people may complain that they have to be so careful, not wanting to upset us - that being with us can be like walking on egg shells. We may have become highly critical of others and ourselves. This may at times be connected to our unhealed wounds, some of which we can see in others, yet are in us. In our relationships it may be important to be heard, seen & met, and we may want to consider how we connect, disconnect ourselves, so we also don't feel frequently worried we will upset our partner, yet they too may feel they can't upset us or be angry.

Our Inner-Outer World At times some of us may be caught in our own narcissism tending to be more covert, introvert, yet other times extrovert. How we experience the world may not be how others do and this may be puzzling or frustrating for us. We may have a hyperactive mind, struggle distinguishing between what is happening inside and outside of us (the inner may swallow the outer) and being in touch with our own personal boundaries may support us (see also Creating & Being In Touch With Our Inner Sanctuary, Our Anchor Points). We can become sensitive to anxiety. Especially if we needed to be hyper-alert as a child, we may easily fire up our over-active nervous system or continue to be anxious now from echoes in childhood. We may continue to be skilled at sending our antennae outwards so we can read, absorb a whole room, atmospheres, others. Yet this can be overwhelming or a burden for us at times (e.g. seeing the beauty and ugliness of everything). Not only do we affect the environment, but the environment also impacts on us (see also Body, Feelings, Mind, Epigenetics, Environmental Connection, Self-Regulation). Sending our antennae also inwards, filtering out any overwhelming sensitivities may support us. Acutely sensitive of others' needs - our own feelings needs may go unnoticed where we may struggle to receive, ask for what we need.

Counselling For Highly Sensitive People - Managing Sensitivities Letting go of being over-empathic the tight grip our sensitivities have on us, adjusting our filters to what we let in and out, yet being resilient, so we don't deplete our energy, may be our challenge. (And of our energy, this may be greatly affected if we don't take basic care of ourself, rest, eat when we need to.) Learning to tolerate things we need to tolerate may be a further challenge, as may creatively transforming the impact of our senses (e.g. turning urban background noise into a soothing nature sound, maybe the noise of traffic into a sound of running water). For others, ear loops can help with background noise. The counselling for sensitive people can help us take into account and manage our own sensitivities, tenderness, vulnerabilities, shyness, confidence, esteem, insecurities and responses to other people's sensitivities. The HSP therapy also examines what else is being unconsciously communicated by us, how we can soothe ourself, create space inside our head, take charge and have some control over any emotional security, protect ourself, our fragilities, ride and manage setbacks with our resilience, hardiness and healthy boundaries, flexibility, negotiate our preferences and not lose our very self to our sensitivities. Having peace of mind, balancing our heart with our head may also support some of us. Being in touch with our self-worth and feeling safe enough may also be important for some. Highly sensitive people therapy can explore how we can value and protect our sensitivities.

HSP Counselling - Being Compassionate With Our High Sensitivities Taking care that our life isn't overwhelming, that our nervous system is protected so we don't spin out from the effects of over-exposure to positive and negative energies, disturbing news, injustice, meanness, etc. may be important. Busy tuning into what others need, we may also need to set boundaries. Psychotherapy for HSP explore this alongside our resilience further with us.

The therapy for HSP includes acknowledging that our HSP trait is real and how this may have impacted on our past, so we can heal from any traumas and develop a life that is compatible with our sensitivity. Our super-sensitivity may not have been understood by others as a child, nor as an adult. (We may have been highly reactive as a child, when others weren't.) And when processing multi-stimuli it can be challenging mange any overwhelment. Whether/how to discuss our sensitivity with family, work and engaging in social support, can also be explored. The counselling for highly sensitive people also includes reviewing our attachment history, personal standards, promoting self-love, self-care, dealing with any over-stimulation, over-busyness, setting boundaries, managing our emotional reactions, attending to our self-esteem (and how to respond to criticism). The HSP counselling for handling negative feedback may also entail, exploring how to listen for what really happens, staying compassionately neutral, observing how we receive feedback and have possible responses to valid criticism. The counselling for HSP may also explore if we become over-responsible for others, become overwhelmed and how to reduce this, live in balance, especially if we are trying to do too much too quickly without pacing ourselves or managing our energy wisely, having downtime, allowing for the advantages or simply daydreaming, being in nature, with water or whatever soothes us (developing a list of what soothes, calms, rests us), so we know what works best for us without over-stimulation. Simply closing our eyes can eliminate stimulation, as can going to a safe place (real or imagined). Being embodied - fully inhabiting our body, stable, secure, without fleeing our body may also be important. (Some have experienced that having a weighted blanket or grounding sheet helps.) The HSP counselling also supports regulating our feelings, valuing our positive qualities, strong vulnerability, resilience.

Counselling For HSP, Psychotherapy For HSP - Specific Questions About Being Overly Sensitive, Counselling For Being Hyper Emotional We may have been described as, or believe to be, too sensitive or highly sensitive person, and have questions about how to control sensitivity, e.g:

• Why am I so sensitive? How can I be less sensitive?
• Am I too sensitive? Why am I too sensitive?
• How to be less sensitive?
• Highly sensitive people, psychotherapy for HSP - is it possible to be too sensitive? If so, how to control sensitivity?
• Overly sensitive - what does oversensitive means?
• Oversensitivity - why am I too sensitive? How to stop being sensitive?
• Am I too sensitive? Why do I have a highly sensitive personality? How to stop being so sensitive and how the counselling for sensitive people work?
• Highly sensitive people traits - what are the traits of highly sensitive people?
• I have a boyfriend too sensitive, girlfriend too sensitive - how can I best respond?
• HSP - I have been described as a highly sensitive person (HSP) - what does this mean?
• Dealing with sensitive people - how can I best respond to highly sensitive people, a highly sensitive personality?
• Stop walking on egg shells - both me, and others around me, wonder how to stop walking on eggshells
• I'm seeking counselling for sensitivity, how does counselling for sensitivities help?
• Dealing with hyper-emotionality - does counselling for being hyper emotional help?
• HSP counselling - how effective is counselling for HSP?
• HSP psychotherapy - how effective is psychotherapy for HSP?
• Sensory processing sensitivity, psychotherapy for SPS - is it possible to be too sensitive? If so, how to control sensitivity?
• Sensory processing sensitivity - why am I too sensitive? How to stop being sensitive?
• Am I too sensitive? Why do I have Sensory processing sensitivities? How to stop being so sensitive and how the counselling for sensitive people work?
• Sensory processing sensitivity traits - what are the traits of sensory processing sensitivity?
• SPS - I have been described as a sensory processing sensitivity person (SPS) - what does this mean?
• Dealing with sensory processing sensitivity - how can I best respond to sensory processing sensitivity?
• I'm seeking counselling for sensory processing sensitivity, how does counselling for sensory processing sensitivity help?
• SPS counselling - how effective is counselling for SPS?
• SPS psychotherapy - how effective is psychotherapy for SPS?